What To Wear :: Fool Proof Black Friday

Alright guys. I know you're all barely breathing after consuming an ungodly amount of turkey and can-shaped cranberry. I know you're flipping through the channels desperately wondering when the "Christmas Story" marathon is going to start. But FOCUS. Black Friday is nigh.

Expert Black Friday soldiers probably need no advice from me, but if you're just getting in the game, here's the deal. When you dress for battle, you have to keep EVERYTHING in mind. Comfort. Temperature. Ability to try things on. Accessories to block your enemies. Here is my fool-proof Black Friday outfit.

To be prepared for the shopping and crowds ahead, you must first prepare yourself. I like to wear a long camisole with leggings so I can try anything on over my clothes without a dressing room. Long lines? Skip them! Find a mirror and you can do all of your work in half the time. More time for deals (and possibly a Cinnabon).

Shoes are important - I prefer boots because they'll stand up to all of the elements, but ballet flats may be preferable to those wanting to try on pants or other shoes as they provide maximum on-off flexibility. A real rebel may choose to wear nothing at all, like one of those crazy barefoot runners, because "shoes just slow you down". I would not recommend this.

Scarf and Cardi are what make this outfit acceptable to wear in public. Choose a brightly colored scarf so your relatives can identify you. Can double as a tent for camping out if the line at Target is around the block.

Finally - let your accessories work for you. When someone snatches that fur vest right from your hands, just swing your studded bag or clutch directly at their face. They'll know not to mess with you and your posse any more. Choose a bag with a long strap so you can wear it cross-body for maximum comfort, longevity, and least resistance. The more things you have attached to your body, the less you have to keep up with. We don't want any sissy pants who "lost their purse" while trying on some Vince Camuto clearance pumps at Ross. We don't have time for that. Keep it strapped to you or be prepared to be left behind.

And if you need help keeping your sales straight - try Wunderlist for iPhone to make lists of all of the sales you're hitting, who has the best deals, and share it directly with friends so they can pipe in. Or not. The ringleader probably gets all of the best deals.

ARE. WE. READY. TO. SHOP????

Boyfriend Cardi, Target, $30.
Leggings, Tilly's, $13.
Brass Knuckles Clutch of Death, Boohoo, $53.
Quilted Flat boots,  Vince Camuto, $169.